I just HAVE to tell you about my incredible experience with Verizon.

I’ve been a customer for a few years now, and while I’ve never had any major complaints with the company, what follows still shocked me.

For the past few months, my phone has been wonky.  The battery charges fine, but if I try to call and talk to anyone, within 5 minutes it threatens to shut down because “THE BATTERY IS GOING TO DIE!!!!11!!!1one11one”.   However, the minute I disconnect my call (or it hangs up on its own) the battery reads 2-3 out of 4 bars.   Only actual calls (not text messages, games, pictures, music, etc.) are affected by this battery wonkiness.

So, I took it in to my nearest Verizon store.  I explained the above problem to a sales rep, and she looked up my account.

Sales Rep: “Did you buy this phone in August 2006?”

(currently it is July 2007)

Me: “I’m honestly not sure, but that sounds about right.”

Sales Rep:  “Well, the phone has a warranty on it for a year, but we don’t cover the battery, and you’re problem sounds like it’s battery related.”

I am not surprised by this at all–it’s pretty routine with cell phone companies not to cover the battery, and I’ve had this “old” phone for a year anyway (I bought this phone for around $80 last year–NOT cheap).

Me:  “Okay.  What do you suggest would be the best course of action for me then?  Should I get a new battery for THIS phone or just get a new phone?”

Sales Rep:  “Well…I just hate for you to buy a $40 battery if it’s actually the phone that is the problem, so I’ll see if we have another one of these phone models in stock and we’ll try that first before you waste any money on a battery not compatible with the new phones.”

AWESOME!  Granted, my warranty covers the phone anyway, but she really could’ve tried to screw me there, as I had no idea about the warranty.

She comes back with a brand new phone identical to my current one and without even asking me transfers all of my numbers, etc. onto this new phone.  At this point, a technician comes up and overhears her explaining that if there IS still a problem, it’s probably the battery and I should come back.

Tech:  “Let me go ahead and test the phone while you’re here.”

At this point, I get a bit worried, thinking the previous bonus of a new phone will be reneged if he finds that it is indeed a battery problem, but at least I’ll find out what the problem is before I have to haul my butt back into the store again.  He calls the 611 number on my phone to test it (I don’t get charged for minutes on that number), and sure enough, the battery “ZOMG!!!!11!!!1one one” dies during the call.

Tech:  “Yeah, it’s the battery.  Let me check if we have that battery in stock. (Pause)  No, we don’t, but let me do a search for any stores in the region to see if they have it. (Pause)  Nope, only our warehouses carry it.  I’m going to go ahead and order it, but you’ll have to come back to the store when it gets here.  That okay?”

Me (completely flabbergasted that I get to keep the “new” phone):  That’s no problem at all!

Tech:  “Okay…here’s your receipt, just sign here and call or come back on Tuesday (two business days away) to make sure the battery has arrived here.”

Me:  “Thank you!  Do I pay for the battery now or when it arrives?”

Tech:  “Oh, I didn’t charge you for it.  You’ve been a good customer for a few years and I’m not going to charge you for a battery that you can’t use on any of the newer phones.”

Basically, I’m getting a brand new phone (new identical phone + new identical battery) for zero dollars and zero cents.  I fully expected to pay SOMETHING for the problem I was having–after all, phones DO wear out after awhile.

This is why Verizon ROCKS.